Saturday, September 22, 2018

Forgive and Forget

I am usually very easy going, and I try my best not to take anything to heart. I often know how to forgive someone, and once I forgive them, I immediately forget what they did. It is quite easy for me. I work on one major principle, I put myself in the other person's shoes. When someone does something, I stop and pause for a moment, I think to myself if that had happened to me, how would I react. I then do what I would expect others to do if I had treated them, the way they had treated me. This treatment would usually make the other person angry, as if I did something wrong. But, usually people do not think this way usually, if they think with a clear head they would also realize that what I did was the natural reaction of anyone to what they had done. However, I do not always get angry and I do not reject anyone who is asking for forgiveness.

Then, there are times, however, when people do such thing that I think about it over and over again. I ponder and pore over the incident and see my own faults. This happens when someone who is very close to me, does something hurtful to me. I find very hard to get the hurtful words said by such a person, out of my head. The words play on and on in my head, I try to distract myself from the incident and doing something that makes me happy. But, unlike other times, in such times I feel like I cannot get it out of my head at all. However, after sometime, my heart does its thing and heals itself. I come back to my senses and forget the incident. It is then that I truly forgive the other person and forget all that was hurtful to me, after all they are important to me. Then, within a little time, I return how I was originally. This is how my mind and heart takes hurt, and I have developed a coping mechanism for this, and now I know how to deal with it.

The one thing that keeps me forgiving other people is the thought that forgiveness is one of God's virtues and those who forgive, God holds them very dear. As a Muslim, my main aim and purpose in life is to be one of Allah's dear ones, and to achieve that I will do whatever I have to.

So, in short, I am forgiving the other person, mainly to achieve my inner peace and to gain the closeness to Allah that I so desire, as well as because they are important to me. So, just forgive and forget, to become a better and calmer person.

Cheers and much love,
Zarrar  

Friday, September 21, 2018

Lessons To Be Learned

From times gone by, from incidents both good and bad, there are always some lessons to be learned. Something for the people to follow to take a guiding light. From the tragedy at Karbala, and from Imam Hussain's life as well, we have many lessons to learn. Like many believers, Imam Hussain also lived a simple life, with the most simple of lifestyles. Why wouldn't he, he was the grandson of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) and the son of Ali bin Abi Talib (RA) and the Prophet's (PBUH) daughter Fatima (RA). Most of his life was spent in the company of his father and grandfather, so living in harsh conditions was something like second nature to him. From his life, what I have learned from my incomplete and incoherent knowledge of events, is simplicity both in poverty and in affluence. When the people of Makkah, were inflicting hardship after hardship, on the Prohet (PBUH) and his companions, he had to go to Medina. There, he got the authority to build an Islamic state governed by the rules of Islam. In these two contrasting scenarios, one of strife, other of authority, there were traits embedded in all of the companions of the Prophet (PBUH). These traits can easily be found in Imam Hussain's life as well.

When Hussain (RA) was young, he had to face many difficulties in and around the house, as he was born in a time when the Prophet (PBUH) was nearing the end of his life. The Rightly Guided Caliphs were faced with many problems, and in these problems, Imam Hussain learned the art of resilience and to negotiate tough situations. Imam Hussain was always at the forefront of the ones helping every subsequent Caliph. He would even risk his life to help the Caliphs, like he did when he brought food to the house of Usman (RA) who was besieged by rebels. Such was the steely nerve of Imam Hussain, that he was entrusted with important expeditions by all Caliphs. In these expeditions, we see the Imam as a leader, we can learn what one must do to lead his people in battle. In his role as an advisor to the Caliphs, we learn about the power of knowledge and wisdom in shaping the personality of a person. We learn from Imam Hussain, more than can be narrated by one single piece of writing. His life was a collection of lessons, a book of knowledge, a story of friendship, sacrifice, struggle, hardship, and eventually perpetual greatness.

In the end, we learn the most important lesson of all, we learn that there is greatness in giving up everything for your cause, even if it means sacrificing your life. All the knowledge, wisdom, trustworthiness, resilience, compassion, honesty and simplicity, boils down to one single concept. When the winds are against you, that is when you are obliged to rise. And rise he did, Imam Hussain (RA) rose to the heights never before attained, because he stood for his cause, against all odds.   

Thursday, September 20, 2018

The ultimate test of faith

It was a sweltering desert. He stood on the battlefield, with just 72 of his followers; women, children and the elderly all included. They were besieged, surrounding by mountains, with no food to eat, no water to drink. But, still they stood steadfast, in the face of the tyranny of one man. One man who was adamant to destroy Islam and to deface it for all eternity. The Imam and his 72 followers was all that stood in the way of Yazid.

One by one, they came forth. Heads held high, not a glimmer of fear in their eyes, even though they knew that one swipe of the sword and their heads would part their bodies. The young men were mercilessly martyred. None of them was spared.They were asked, "Accept the rule of Yazid, and you will be spared. Defy and you will die". All of them would say, "Go on, slash your sword for I have said my final words of prayer". All this continued, until none remained but the Imam himself. He, too, stepped forth.

With his body almost lifeless with weakness, but spirits were skyhigh. Without a moment's pause, the tyrant's henchmen did the dirty deed they were paid to do, and in doing so, killed their own rightfully chosen leader for someone who was nothing more than a power thief. That day, the skies trembled, the Earth shook with grief, for the grandson of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وعلى آله وسلم had been martyred by his own men, by his own people, by his own kin.
But fear not, for the revenge of Allah is the most swift and unavoidable.

Today, the martyr of Karbala lives in the hearts of people worldwide and his name is found everywhere, Hussain lives on, and the name of Yazid died with his own death. One would wonder, how can a man be so blinded by his hunger for power, that he would let it consume and make him commit such vile acts. Such acts which would not even spare women, children and elderly. But truly Allah took the perfect revenge and wiped Yazid from history. This event, this incident showed us that it is not our luxury, but our duty to stand up to tyrants, no matter who or where they are.

قتل حسینؑ اصل میں مرگ یزید ہے
اسلام زندہ ہوتا ہے ہر کربلا کے بعد

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Pleasant Surprises

"Zarrar, you're here?"
"Well, of course, I am here... But, it sure is a pleasure to see you here."
This was how I was greeted by an old class fellow of mine, as she bumped into me in the corridors of my university. She was only there, for a couple of hours and I was on my way out for some laboratory related work. Our short encounter was ended by us, agreeing to meet after she was done with a little work she had with the administration. But, I forgot to tell her that I was heading out. So, after sometime, I got a message from her asking me where I was. I told her that I had gone out and that I might not be able to come back before she was going to leave. In short, that short conversation was all I had with her. It was however, a very pleasant surprise to see her there.

Even more, pleasant was the fact that she was equally happy to see me and remarked with the usual, "you look so much more different from what you used to be", which I took as a compliment naturally. I came back after getting my errands done, and returned to my work, but my heart was torn between satisfaction of getting the work done and the regret of giving up a chance of meeting and chatting with the nicest girl I knew from my days as a Bachelor's student. I kept thinking of what I could have done to prevent me missing this conversation with her. It was not something that made me sad, but there was tiny bit of regret that kept popping up. I know I will be able to meet her again, and maybe then I will be able to meet her and we could catch up on good old times.

This girl was the most friendly and humorous girl you could come across, never a dull moment when she was around. All the more reason for me to want to spend time with her. This would have made for some really good jokes. But, not to worry, I am just happy that people of my past are not all bad. Some of them are really lovely people, who are so refreshing for me to be around. These people give us a breath of fresh air, who bring life around them. So as a whole, today was a great day at work for me, with lots of smiles and happiness from the past.

May I have more days like this, and may all of us find little moments of happiness and more little moments of pleasant surprise.

Cheers and much love,
Zarrar  

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

I Am Insignificant

It might seem like I am being overly negative or pessimistic, from the title of my post. But, in reality, I am being a realist. Whenever I am thinking about my life, I always go to the problems that I am facing. The daily problems, the different issues that I face as a whole, the things that make me cry, the things that make me worried and tense, the events that have an adverse effect on my life. All the things that I face, are merely my own problems, the world will continue to go on, the Sun will shine, the Earth will rotate, the stars will continue to shine. What this would make some people feel, would be a sense of depression, that whether I exist or not, what difference does it make to the universe and what goes on in the bigger picture. But, to me, the feeling that this fact gives, is very different.

What I feel is that I may worry about my problems, they may seem big to me, but the whole Universe is not affected by my problems. Moreover, I am not detached from the Universe as a whole. I am a part of the universe, and whatever happens in the universe is going to affect me for sure. This gives me hope that the universe has a lot of potential, Allah has a plan for me and I am not to be left stranded in this world. If my problems are small in comparison to the Universe's scale, then there is no reason why my problems cannot be solved by a sequence of favorable events which may happen. This liberates me from all worries, and I am liberated from obsessing over the outcome or result of my hard work. This lets me put all my thoughts and attention to doing all the hard work I can, and not being fazed by the outcome of those actions.

When I say that I am insignificant, I mean exactly that. I am not a very major part of the universe, it is not affected by me, but because I am affected by it, then I should make sure to pay attention to it. I should enjoy the beauty of the vastness, of which I am only a speck of a speck. The stars, the nebulae, the moons, the quasars, the pulsars, and even the seemingly dark and lifeless black holes. All of these things ask for my attention and so I should and I will. I will continue to pay attention to the world and Universe around me, instead of poring over my insignificant problems. I am so very happy to have realized how insignificant I am, as this gives me more reason to concentrate on the bigger picture. I can now focus on my world and universe.

I hope we all focus on the vastness of the universe, and how small we are and our problems are too. Let us make the most of the time we are given in this huge universe and to make the most of all it has to offer. All of its beauty, all of its magnificence asks for our attention.

Cheers and much love,
Zarrar   

Monday, September 17, 2018

When I Am Angry

I often am the person, who is the target of anger and intimidation from others. I often listen calmly and quietly, when someone is angry and distressed. I always keep myself under check, and never try to explode in front of someone. I am always trying to make sure that I am understanding and sympathetic to other people's strife. I may not completely understand someone's problems, but I cannot be so close-minded as to tell someone off for feeling the way they do. I cannot understand someone's mental state or what they are going through, so how can I be the judge of someone's feelings? How can I tell them what they can or cannot feel? I will not judge someone's feelings at all, this is something I cannot bring myself to do. So, I just try to calm people down, by assuring them that they are not alone and if anything I will do what is in my power to help them, no matter how small my help may be. My quiet and calm attitude, however, puts me in trouble often, because I have to listen to people get angry at me more than I deserve to bear. 

However, I am a human being also. I can also feel sad, I can also lose my temper, the hurt I feel can also go through to my soul. I am not impenetrable, I am very far off, in fact. But, what people do not understand is, just because I am quiet, does not mean I do not feel. Just because I am calm, does not mean I cannot be hurt by the words of others, and just because I do not tell you about my problems, does not mean I do not have any of my own. All I do is keep my problems aside, when I am there to help someone else, so I come off as someone whose life is a bed of roses. However, when my breaking point is reached, that is when I have little regard for anyone else. When I am angry, I do not go around shouting my head off. I just quietly switch off, I stop talking, I stop being as friendly as I usually am. 

When I am angry, I stop being as expressive, my laughs are hollow and empty of emotion. When I am angry, I do not start showing it, I just go into a I-don't-give-a-damn phase. It is a phase where you will see as little of me as possible, you would like me to confront you, tell you how I feel, but I will completely avoid confrontation. Whatever you knew me as before, would be no more than a distant memory, and you would be left wishing that I go back to the way I used to be, but I won't.

This is what I think is the best way to be angry, instead of breaking stuff, just go off radar. It helps save a whole lot of energy.

Zarrar

Sunday, September 16, 2018

I Can't Take That Much

Is it selfish of me, to want to walk away from someone or something that causes me mental stress? Something that causes me to go to the time when I was in pain, a negative influence? Is it wrong of me to think of myself, for the sake of my own sanity? Am I not supposed to take care of my own self? Who is going to be there for me, when I lose my mind because of all the past incidents bombarding me like this? I would have to face them myself, of course. Then, if I am asking someone to not talk to me because I do not want to delve back into the past memories. Why sould someone call me selfish and say that I am hurting them when all I am doing is saving my own self. Sorry, but I do not have anything against you, I do not hate you, I do not despise you, I just do not have the strength to carry on again. You may be able to go on, like nothing happened. But, if I start talking to you again, I will have to go back to all that I cannot and will not think about. So, please just leave me to my thoughts.

In case, you are thinking what I am going through, whether I am happy or not, I just want to say that I am doing perfectly fine. I found new friends, I have work to do, I have games to play, books to read and shows to watch. I am happy, or at least I was until you decided to come along and ruin it by recounting all the past events and conversations we had. When I tell you, I do not want to go back to that time, does it not occur to you that it might be hard for me to go back to that time. You cannot just break off all contact and expect me to be perfectly normal with you coming back, after all that time. I am a human being with a heart, as are you, I am sure. Let me be, as I want to be. It is my life and you have no control over it. In fact, sometimes I myself do not have control over it, so how can you? Let me just say there are no hard feelings, but I do not want to talk to you, plain and simple.

I have written all this, not to cry out about my own life. I just want to show people that you are worthy of giving and receiving love. If you do not feel like you can take much more, you reserve the right to let go. It is not selfish to want to keep your health and well-being as your first priority, I do not think I am selfish in pushing all the people in my past away, because they are attached to some bad memories. You should not think of yourself as selfish if you do so either.

Live yourself just the way you want, you deserve that much for yourself at least. Stay happy, keep smiling and spread love and joy.

Cheers and much love,
Zarrar